Typical psychological factors that can lead to derailment of modern marriage
Introduction: We have noticed that the number of unfaithful people in the society has been increasing rapidly, forming a continuous trend.
According to the latest survey, about 50% of married women and 70% of married men have at least one intention of infidelity.
Experience tells us that if the victims of extramarital affairs can detect dangerous romances early.
Most can take precautions before things happen.
We have summarized the three main reasons for having an extramarital affair, if this typical danger sign also exists in your marriage life.
So whether or not your spouse does have an affair, your relationship has begun to deteriorate.
One, a lonely wife said to us: “My husband Zhang fiddled with his computer endlessly as soon as he got home.
One day I went to the bookstore and when I wanted to get my wallet, the books and groceries on my hands fell to the floor.
A kind man helped me lift up the book and asked, ‘oh, do you like classical novels?
‘I went to that bookstore a week later and happened to meet him again.
We talked for more than three hours the next day.
Things are always relative to each other, but to be honest, it is not sexual relative conversation that drives our relationship.
To Zhang, I’m just a reproductive machine, nothing more than that between us.
This lonely individual is intolerable.
“If a person incorporates intimate feelings in life, if he finds someone to share the big and small things in life with him.
A sense of loneliness will spontaneously arise.
This feeling of loneliness is precisely the main cause of extramarital affairs.
Second, there is a man who is monotonous, “Although I have been thinking about other girlfriends for 11 years, I never wanted to really find an affair.
One night, as my wife was out, I attended a party alone, and a lady invited me to her place for a drink or two.
At first I was afraid and nervous and told her I couldn’t go.
But that thought kept stimulating me, and two days later I hung up with her and things happened.
“The temptation of external stimuli is the second most common cause of infidelity between couples.
After five or six years of marriage, the enthusiasm began to cool, and the way was fixed alternately during the ten years. The once free couple also had children, and the sex life was always performed in the same way at the same time.
The opposite is true for extramarital affairs, which offers a lot of risk factors: teasing, chasing, danger, unleashed lust, and fear of being found trembling.
Third, lack of communication We heard a description of the couple’s quarrel: “I am very angry that my husband Liu has never helped take care of the children.
I also have my job, and the annoying thing is that cooking chores becomes my own business.
One Friday afternoon, he asked me what to eat for dinner, and I replied, ‘Go northwest!
‘After hearing it, he became furious, my anger was diameter.
He ran outside and shouted, ‘I do n’t have to endure this!
‘Later he told me that he and his girlfriend went to bed for the first time that night.
“Many couples lack awareness of the damaging ways of communicating in their marriage. They blamed each other. As a result, the emotions of anger and bruises penetrated into all aspects of life, especially sexual life.
The establishment and maintenance of husband and wife relationship is realized through the exchange of thoughts and feelings, and sexual life is the most intimate way of emotional communication.
Ms. Li told us: “We quarreled about sex, and my husband felt that he was always active on his own, so he was upset.
It is true, he has a face to me all day, so I do not want to take the initiative at all.
Then he turned over to sleep and went to sleep, and ignored me in the morning.
“From these damaging ways of communication, or both parties suffer a lot, and they will have a stronger sense of abandonment, angry and scolding these attacking communication methods flood the entire life of the couple.
A mother admitted, “He was driving me crazy, and I wouldn’t let it go.
“A female lawyer refused to say that, although she was discouraged, she had to give up on the surface.”I have the final say at work and I give advice to others.
But at home, no matter what the facts are, my husband always thinks he is always right and I am always wrong.
“Think about it, would a couple in such a relationship go outside of marriage to seek a love and sexual relationship?
It is a bit harder to save an endangered marriage than to destroy it, and it takes continuous time to end it.
But if you are determined to try to rebuild your relationship, whether or not an extramarital affair has occurred, the following suggestions will help you: help ▲ establish the concept of spouse first.In a study, she ignored her husband and family life.
One night she went through a tense job and went to bed at 12:30.
Her husband got angry: “I’ve had enough!
I’m not even as good as your job.
“In everything you care about-work, children, family, etc.-your relationship with your spouse must be inserted first, and the main time and energy must be spent on the relationship between husband and wife, followed by other aspects of life.
If you can’t straighten out the primary and secondary relationship like this, it is better to break up with your spouse early.
▲ Set realistic goals If you insist on revisiting your dreams during your wedding, you will be disappointed.
Of course, this is not to say that sex is no longer exciting, and romantic love is gone forever.
But the joy shared at the time of new marriage cannot be used as the standard for a new relationship between husband and wife.
Both husband and wife are changing, and the relationship between them has become different-perhaps in a sense richer.
▲ Seeking Change A stockbroker suspected: “I always wanted my wife to know that I needed more care and affection.
Sometimes I almost asked her to touch me, but she always broke the topic.
Both spouses should have the expectation of seeking change, starting from the meticulous care of each other, paying attention to the needs of each other, the love will rise spontaneously, and sexual life will gradually become a meaningful act of showing love.
Rebuilding a good husband-wife relationship takes time, and the experience of loving couples shows that the continuation of this process is uncertain.
They never see the cooperation of their spouses as a matter of course.
▲ Avoid prone to arguing. Communication can both hurt feelings and learn from feelings. It can also hurt people and build self-esteem.
Improper communication can easily surround destructive ways.
This method will erode people’s self-worth, and will eventually destroy the cherished husband and wife relationship.
Fair said: “It’s always like that when we quarrel.
She was very angry with me for something, and then ran out to buy clothes, and I was very angry about it.
We quarreled and scolded for money, and money became the trigger of our quarrel.
“People often surround this vicious circle.
Break through this cycle and stay awake to avoid issues that are prone to quarrels, such as economic expansion categories that are likely to cause unpleasant spouses.
If you recognize these issues and deal with them in an eclectic way, the relationship between the two will become more and more harmonious, and the relationship between husband and wife will become more harmonious.
Both men and women form an unwritten contract in love, which is usually the tacit understanding of the husband and wife-the two are a whole, it was formed long before the marriage vow.
The union of husband and wife is exclusive, and this exclusivity is marked by the closeness of the union between the sexes.
The world of husband and wife is built on a contract that contains children, houses, and common friendship.
This mutual understanding becomes the basis for spousal relationships not to be damaged.
Compilation: In the analysis at the end, we can’t determine what caused a particular person to break this contract and abandon his or her spouse to replace the arms of others.
However, we can do it. If you eliminate certain destructive factors in your marriage life, you can support the opportunity of infidelity, enhance the relationship between husband and wife, and create a kind of fun and happiness that is shared by both husband and wife.The joy of heaven.