When an affair meets an affair .
The two had been having an affair with each other, struggling to break away from their past family, and finally came together, but could not get married.
Everyone is afraid that the other party will have an affair again. The old drama repeats itself. “We have too many secrets.
We are all familiar with each other’s methods of committing crimes, so we can lie to others together and easily spot each other. ”Han Xiang, 37, called me for the first time to ask how to find a reliable private detective in Beijing.
When I said that I really didn’t know this, I could hear her tone full of disappointment, although it was still thankfulness and indifferent words to me.
After all that was said, she refused to hang up. I guess there might be a story to begin with, and maybe she wasn’t looking for a detective but someone to talk to and waited.
Sure enough, she groaned for a while and said, “Actually, I don’t necessarily need a detective.
If you are free, come and sit in my house and suddenly want to talk to you about our two things.
“That’s a bit of a messy home. In an old building, there are two bedrooms of less than 50 square meters, a small living room with five doors on four walls, and unused tableware on the middle table.In the glass vase on the corner of the dining table, the carnations have faded, and the water in the bottle is a bit turbid, with a faint smell.
Han Xiang took me into her so-called “big room” and arranged for me to throw a pair of pajamas on the arm of the sofa into another sheet before sitting on the couch facing the TV.Man on the sofa.
When she was seated on the sofa herself, she slipped the nightgown behind the cushion.
This time I can see clearly that the nightgown is a man’s.
In fact, this is an ordinary home where a couple of ordinary men and women live. There is a sense of fireworks, and there is a kind of casual mess that is too late to take care of because they are usually busy. The special place is that they are looming from every corner because they are too lazyDeal with the neglected smell of dust.
I don’t understand why Han Xiang, who looks clean and capable, turned a blind eye.
Maybe this is the boredom and slackness or habit that people have “soaked” in the same living environment for a long time?
Han Xiang called her partner “Old Horse”.
She summed up their relationship in the simplest language: two people had been having an affair with each other, struggling to break away from their past family, and finally came together, but could not get married.
-Everyone is afraid that the other party will have an affair again, and the old drama repeats itself.
那段曾经令我们引以为自豪的、冲破家庭、投入对方怀抱的回忆已经从美好的童话故事变成了两个人互相折磨的依据 有好多事情，就是这样，人在其中的时候，觉得那是The most magnificent romance in the world came out. The romance was replaced by dullness. The new continent was discovered. The rest is to build the new continent into a nest that is no different from the old continent.Any worries, doubts, fears, all come.
I dare not say that my combination with Lao Ma is shocking, weeping, but we did go through an arduous process.
This process lasted 6 years. I was only 31 years old 6 years ago. The old horse is 5 years older than me and 36 years old. It is also a very good age for a man.
We met during vocational training. He was a teacher our university invited from the university. At that time, he was already an associate professor.
Is our acquaintance called love at first sight?
I do not know.
When two people expressed their love for each other, they could n’t help but said to each other that it was “feeling” when they first met, especially when we split up and went home for a divorce.At first glance, each other already knew that this person was the other half who had been searching hard in this world. The old horse was still holding my name “My ribs” on a park bench.
Now I think of it, I ca n’t say that there is no warm feeling at all, but at the same time it is still a little doubtful, and I ca n’t help but think about it, are these two people so impatient and able to say everything because they ca n’t get each other temporarily?
Think of it this way, how good the past is also a bit boring.
In retrospect, I do n’t know where we all come from so much strength and courage, dare to go home and admit that we have an affair, and can give up our children, like the radical youth in the old society who challenged feudal ethics.Together.
It was crazy anyway.
Lao Ma’s ex-wife is also a teacher, and she is a very dedicated person. Lao Ma said that she “has devotion to work and ca n’t even save time for students to cook. I can also eat raw rice and make mature food in the belly.”
I haven’t seen his ex-wife, when the two were desperately trying to be together, he was fainting, he told me so.
My feeling is to distress him. Such a good man is when the support and encouragement of women are needed in all aspects, but the women around him cannot allow him to get the most basic care. Therefore, I even more regretfully said that I want to useI have made up for everything I owe him in my life, and I will do everything to be good to him.
As soon as such words were spoken, the reactions of the two people could be imagined. We hugged together excitedly, trembling, kissing each other while looking forward to the future.
My ex-husband is a surgeon and I am very busy with work. I usually go home and go to bed early. I just sit down and read a book under the lamp. There is very little communication with me.Even the frames are rarely noisy. The only thing that can make us a little bit arguing is the children, and the end result is a few words. He is annoyed and compromised because he needs to read a book or sleep.
When I told the old horse about this situation, he immediately hugged me, saying that such a woman of all manners could not be coveted and pampered at home, and she would be left out. How desolate her inner world should be.He must take good care of me during his lifetime so that I can always celebrate Children’s Day.
Next, the two hug together in excitement, trembling, kissing and dreaming about the future.
Then, sort out your mood, cheer each other up, and go home to fight for a divorce. What kind of animal is human?
Maybe no one is clear.
But there is one thing that I personally experienced.
When we started together six years ago, the feeling of longing for each other was so strong that it was completely different from now.
Now, we are really together. Before closing my eyes every night, I saw the person I was thinking about, and when I opened my eyes in the morning, I saw the person who had huged him if he could not divorce.But I was craving for nothing, and sometimes I felt strange and unsteady.
We are about to hug each other tightly, stubbornly, but instead of looking forward to the future, we focus on the previous concerns of the two.
I never worried about losing each other when I broke up and divorced. Now, two people who can get married at any time, have been married from the content and have only a single form of people, but start to ask each other occasionally regardless of time: “You continueDo n’t you treat others like you did to me?
Will you have an affair?
Will you divorce me for someone else?
“A lot of things tell us that the memory that once made us proud and broke through the family and cared about each other’s arms has changed from a beautiful fairy tale to a basis for two people torturing each other.
Many, many things are like this.
Two people ate dinner face to face and talked a little bit, but they seemed to have their own minds in their hearts. That kind of feeling was especially bad. I remember that we did n’t have the conditions to stay together. After all, we were both families and children.It is impossible for young people to fall in love like they are in love. Our time is stolen.
At that time, I would often not eat at noon, take three subway stations, walk ten minutes, and go to school to see him.
He also wanted to meet me and never go home for lunch or nap, but stay in the office waiting for me.
At many noon, we just ate hamburgers, drank tea and looked at each other.
At noon, no one else was in his office. Even so, he didn’t dare to lock the door.
Occasionally we hugged each other, kissed each other quickly, and parted immediately, listening to the sound in the corridor with our ears up, a little bit moving, so scared that we couldn’t jump out of our throats, and hurry to face each other honestly, separatedSit down with a large writing desk, for fear that someone will find something by pushing the door.
Tired of speaking, right?
But both of them were happy. They didn’t feel tired at all. They wanted to go the next day. They also wanted to see. If they didn’t see them, they could call us at noon.
Sometimes, I got off work early in the evening for half an hour and had an excuse to pick up the child. He told his family that he would go to the library to check the materials. We made an appointment to meet at the subway station.After a short walk with satisfaction, reporting on the situation in their respective homes, they went home to cook separately.
Although both people lied, dodged, and struggled to beat the time difference, their mood was particularly good, and their desire to live together was very fulfilling.
However, both people have finally divorced and can finally be together. There is no longer a day of “stealth” and troubles have come.
At the beginning, the freshness was not good, but fortunately, the habit slowly established, doubts also appeared.
Sometimes, he also tells me that if he doesn’t go home for lunch at noon and then go to class in the afternoon, there will be some flashes in my mind. Will there be anyone who wants to meet him at noon?
I don’t know if this is a morbid state, anyway, I just can’t help thinking about it.
As a result, he attacked him.
I pretended that nothing was wrong and he understood his request not to go home, but at noon, I ran to his office to give him a surprise attack, and saw that he was indeed lying alone on the desk and dozing off.
Others saw me go to him with “McDonald’s” and said that the two of us were really good, but only I knew in my heart what was the good relationship, which was clearly the distrust that was quietly breeding.
In front of him, I don’t admit this, but just said that he wanted to surprise him and remind him how difficult it was for us.
That being said, everyone knows exactly what the psychology is.
In fact, his mentality is no different from mine.
If I came home late from work, he would also ask me what I was doing, if there was a traffic jam on the road, or if I met some acquaintances.
The two had dinner face to face, and some talked without each other, but they seemed to have something in their hearts, which felt particularly bad.
He also once remembered how we used to meet each other in the past, and he even said, “The skills we acquired at that time will be used throughout our lives.
I was angry and explained to him, otherwise we would just make an appointment and leave together after work.
However, this is unrealistic after all. His profession determines that he does not need to work. I have to check in sooner or later.
Two people were also sulking for this.
I said it was like this. It ‘s good. I thought you were a guilty old man. Just like you did with your ex-wife, you set up a small vault. There is another serious problem, that is our money.
After deciding to go home and have a divorce, we have invariably started to keep some eyes on our past partners, similarly, to save some money privately.Divorce is our ignorance. We are the one who betrays others, the one who does not want children, and the selfish one. Is there any reason to ask for more property?
We are all the ones who do not ask for anything, and go out of the house.
None of us is a bad person. We all feel guilty about our family and are willing to compensate each other from our property.
So, we are all the same. Apart from hiding some income that some family members don’t know about, the common property has nothing.
After the divorce, everything we re-established, including this small house now.
This practice of the two of us was initially concealed by no one.
Theoretically, even if it is a bad thing, two individuals are considered complicity.
However, after four years, we finally got divorced, but the two started to make trouble for money.
People are so sensitive, they have to think about little things.
Once he took me to the mall and said he would buy me a diamond ring.
There was nothing in the process of buying. After buying, on the way home, I suddenly asked him, where did the money come from, didn’t our money all come together?
How could he still have private money?
He was particularly contradictory and persecuted at that time, and it took a long time to reveal it. He said that it was usually the money he made for editing textbooks for others, not a lot each time.
It ‘s weird. I did n’t touch him at all, and I did n’t feel guilty. I said that ‘s the case. It ‘s good. I thought you were a criminal.Here it is.
This time he was angry, and immediately began to question me, where did he usually buy the clothes and the odds and ends of the house.
I said it was some small “grey income”, and he also laughed at me and said that it was not a small treasury.
I’m also very angry, isn’t this nonsense?
The small treasury was originally private. Why should it be used?
Why should I buy something for you?
If there is a small vault, it will not let you know at all!
After saying so, both of them suddenly became speechless.
Yeah, isn’t it the same for him and for me?
If you have bad intentions, why spend money on each other?
The reason is so simple, two people love each other so much, why would they quarrel for this?
Our past determined that it would never be possible for such two people to have no suspicion with each other. We all have a criminal record, and our criminal record is that we used to be affair each other.
After the brief peaceful life passed, our condition became worse and worse, and the two became more and more painful.
There are no specific, substantive contradictions, but there is more and more suspicion, speculation, and ridicule with each other.
Not long ago, something happened.
On the way out of work, I met an old classmate, a man who hadn’t seen him for many years.
We had a good chat. He insisted on sending me home, so I didn’t quit and got in his car.
He kept showing me to the door.
I never expected that the old horse was standing on the balcony watching me get out of the man’s car and walk into the corridor.
He was particularly unhappy that day.
He said he would not cook anymore, and would go out to eat with me.
Sitting in the small restaurant, he asked himself to have a small bottle of “Erguotou” and poured me a cup.
After a long silence, I asked me, “Han Xiang, you said, why did you spend all your effort with me?
“I think it’s weird. Does this need to be asked?
I’m such an adult, don’t you know who can be happy with?
Don’t know who you really love?
Moreover, I think his words are very harsh, what is meant by “exhausting effort”?If it’s exhausting, aren’t we both the same?
I didn’t speak.
He then asked: “You said, if the two of us were really married, would you one day leave me without hesitation like leaving your ex-husband with no hesitation?
“I was in a hurry, and immediately counterattacked,” What about you? ”
Would you also vilify me in front of a new lover like vilifying your ex-wife?
“He smiled bitterly, and asked another question:” Han Xiang, do you know why the two of us have come to each other and worked together happily?
Why were we so anxious to get married in the past, and really got married conditionally, but no one wants to get married, even without mentioning the word?
“I didn’t wait for my answer. He drank a glass of wine, and slowly said that:” Have you seen the movie “Rover” in India when you were a kid?
There is a sentence saying that the judge’s son is a judge and the thief’s son is always a thief. When we were young, this sentence was criticized.
However, I think this sentence applies to you and me.
We are both thieves, we have been thieves, and we are the same kind of thieves like male and female thieves. We both cheat, steal people from other people’s homes, steal money from wallets that we share with others.Purpose, to be able to spend the rest of my life together.
The reason for a thief to steal something is to live a rich life. Our reason is more grand than they are. We are talking about a great love between two people. This reason allows us to do bad things to others.
You bullied your ex-husband, I bullied my ex-wife.
Don’t you think we know each other too well?
We have too many secrets.
We are all familiar with each other’s methods of crime, so we can lie to others together, and we can easily spot each other.
When the Taiping is flourishing, the two do not have to steal, but how they look at each other like a thief.
The two of us are insane!
After finishing speaking, there were still tears in his eyes, as if holding back, drinking in silence.
I don’t know how to describe my feelings.
However, I think what he said is right. Although I never thought about expressing my feelings with such mean words, I admit that he was right.
I have thought about it more than once, what exactly is the problem between us?
I have told myself more than once that we are really wrong and we really ca n’t get married. Our past has determined that such two people can never have no suspicion with each other. We all have a previous record, our previous record is that we used to be each other.Is the other’s affair.
That night, we were still sleeping in a bed, but no one touched for the first time, and before that, no matter how unpleasant the two people were, they would stick to a form of hugs and kisses.It can save our two desolate and tired hearts.
Suddenly I wanted to ask him a question: After such a difficult and painstaking, distraught divorce, I finally ended up with someone I thought was in love, and found that the new life was just that, even more tiring than the old life.regret?
In the end, I didn’t ask him, but I asked the question to myself. My answer is: Yes.
That is, from that day on, all of us suddenly cared about the children. We would spend part of our time on visiting the children. We no longer communicate or question each other. We are all tired.Let it go.
With these six years, is there any special difference between getting married and not getting married?
I think it’s gone.